0x002a3be6…ec82sent to0xfd16f4a0…34d9·#20,714,379·view on Etherscan
0x002A···Ec82Au Livart, fin Aout 2024, Montreal, Quebec
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today i am happy to be alive and well
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I am here.
I am in Montreal.
What a day
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Flash forward
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The warmth of analog circuitry like blood in my veins runs in circles around my brain
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You never know, until you know
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inside i wait
Outside its perfect
How i control myself
inside im free
outside its not possible
Nothing i really want
Outside is like prison
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I didn’t mean to come in here. I didn’t know I was going to do it. i’d just finished work, and was on my way to meet a friend. and now, there is a black fly on the screen monitor as I type. did you see the show? you should see the show… This is a lot like what it felt like.
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Wish you were here
Hope you are well!
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Tout l’intérieur mais le tout d'ailleurs. qqch. de beau mais laid mais profond mais surtout qqch. de la et maintenant. Un tout capturé la mais a tout jamais, d’un tout de maintenant et de toujours
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La peur de tout perdre
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Colère, solide, peur. 50 mg par jour, mon foie souffre, ma tete fait la fete et moi je dors
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Je ne sais jamais comment agir dans les vernissages. Je ne sais pas s’il y a une etiquette special a respecter.
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I do not wish to count the days, since she left me. I know it is my fault. I am sorry. To her and myself.
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I am happy with my life, but I don’t know whats next and that scares me… Life was so difficult for so long, but I’ve “made” it now, so life should be easy right? I want to better myself, I want to do new things, I want to explore more of who I am. I feel like I am running out of time. Will I ever be ok? Will past me be happy with who I a today?
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Intense malaise beauté
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You would enjoy Montreal
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The first time I tried to get out they said I had it. I didn’t believe them. Surely I would have to be cleaner. I was still keeping bags of vomit under my bed. But they gave me that OCD…diagnosis. They traded it in for BPD the next time I tried to get out.
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My dad committed suicide
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Emocionalmente agotado
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Today, I had a wrap du travailleur
It was not that good!
But everything else was good
And so all is well
The end
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Glowing inside. The red energy is flowing into. swimming in bleu
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J’ai pensé à partir, pensant que tu partais. Changer les liens comme si c’était malléable. J’ai passé l’éponge et traversé les ponts, maintenant c’est beaucoup plus agréable. J’ai pensé quitter la vie d’artiste, touché coulé sur la partie. Après tant d’hivers seul à réfléchir, dire bye aux étés dans la grande ville. Lucidité affaiblie encore, nuit non-réparatrice. La noirceur courtise mon âme dans le puit de la matrice. J’ai l’esprit numb à cause de toutes mes folies, l’impression de perdre le nord. Les désirs m’ont guidés jusqu’à leur lit même si elles étaient prises, déshumanisé dans les yeux des hommes à qui j’ai volé l’avenir. Je deviendrai slowly un ange déchu, trop proche du chaos, pas tant déçu de cette finalité, je ne me voyais pas finir là-haut.
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Love You So Much
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There is beauty in the acceptation of one’s own darkness. You will find peace in the end.
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lack of time.
feeling of doom.
paranoia.
on a good day, overzealous.
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Me siento abrumado, me siento abrumado, incapaz de cumplir tus expectativas.
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Perdu je suis,
la fumé me suit,
dans cette prairie,
je m’y conduis
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Maybe I just have to try harder
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I believe colours are what attract me he most. I know I should feel or say or mean something more intellectual, but I feel art for me is always primitive and almost primal : therefore more about the first degree and wha my eye catches first. It is also what I believe makes me like the exposition : the contrast of colours.
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This week i lost a best friend because of her mental health. she became exactly what she told me she never wanted to become - a mixture of the two people who’ve hurt me most but whom i’ve also loved the most. while we have both suffered and have our own traumas and mental health issues, there is a line you can cross that you can never come back from. her experiences have left permanent scars, which can still be found beautiful. but when you still believe you’re ugly and a bad person inside, it’s hard for others to find those scars beautiful if you yourself can’t find a way to make them into a strength. i feel sorry for her, to know that she is yet again the cause of another friend having to end their relationship with her. mental health is hard. it’s even harder when you don’t actually want to get better.
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Present or future
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Games can be painful and fun and that is good
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Just another NPC to you
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Takes time to find it
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Savour the sunset
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Trust in me and fall as well
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Me siento abrumado, me siento abrumado, incapaz de cumplir tus expectativas.
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Il faut dire les choses au moment ou elles se présentent, sinon…
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Bleu volcan
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It has been a pleasure getting to know you through your creation.
Be here now and receive.
The rain pours down and my pores drink that which my mind forgot I needed.
Here and Now and Here and Now and Here and Now.
Thank you for today. Thank for the gift that is the present.
Thank you to where this is all leading. The cycle shifts. Seemingly repeating but ever-changing.
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The next steps are right in front of us
The door is open
Together we walk
Together we find
We find ourselves
We find each other
The light is bright
The light fades
The Now is with us
The Beginning and the end
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INTERCONNECTED
INTERCONNECTED
INTERCONNECTED
INTERCONNECTED
INTERCONNECTED
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Free Palestine
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One day i will figure out how to have a business where i rent old televisions to people that want to have cool art
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Am I truly here or is my consciousness projecting images of this room in a hologram?
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Je ne peux jamais arrêter. Je m’enfonce constamment et aucune substance ne peut satisfaire le vide intersidéral dans ma tête et mon estomac. Je détruit tout au tour de moi.
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the wounded dog hunts
the hungry dog hunts
the sad dog hunts
it seems the dog is inseparable from the hunt
it is it’s calling
its purpose
nothing will ever separate it.
why would it?
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I love your use of negative space within your art environment. it forces me to confront my own self isolation from the world. the blue is overwhelming and i can attribute that colour to whatever feeling that is haunting me.
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"The wind troubles the sand
In a wild chase of urges
Seeking peace within
While the path appears
Through a deep blue spleen
On melancholy beach.
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Love
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je suis ici dans cette exposition et je ne connais personne
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robert was a drunk
he put my mother through hell
i was far away
far too young
robert is a drunk
that likes to be in a position of power
and i was too weak
to save my mom
claire arrived as robert left the picture
depression hit mom
still dont believe in mental health
dad meets a new woman
somehow, a drunk
i understood that mom would be a victim
but my dad is a man
a strong man
and he never stopped her
i start staying outside the house
i am the one she hates the most
until that time she hit dad
bloodied eyebrow
dad is a strong man
but not enough to leave
i want to be strong too
but i leave early
lots of substances
come back when nobody is awake
i run away
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the world is in decay. nobody cares.
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break the spell, type your pain
The pain of not being heard from anyone is one of the worst for me.
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La cornemuse s’amuse a jouer les troubles fetes
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What goes up must come down
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Sous les blafardes les dents.
Toujours les dents.
Au-delà au-dedans et en deca du seuil de l'enfance
les silements des images leurs effritements circulent a pleine vitesse
dans les phosphores entre les doigts des anciens collectionneurs de butchs
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A couple days have passed since I entered into Training Data. With time to process, I am transported into a new space and time. At the entry I am confronted with stills from videos by Tjo. An inner voice in ways of segments of time- both fact and fiction? This is just a preview of what is to come. Some images are familiar, others are new. They are placed carefully into the wood panel indentations. The paneling frames each still like a moment, a memory in time- a time which has both past and to come. After the first room, I am greeted by a hall way. It is broken into smaller rooms, bays. The are separated by entry ways that have mirrors on the interiors of the doorways. This acts as a breath, a reflection between the spaces. We enter a new portal each time along the hallway. The first bay consists of two tvs- one large at the heigh of my waist and a smaller tv at foot level. The larger tv features a young man full of despair and frustration as he looks down. Unsure what he is looking at, we see the smaller tv with a sharp blade on the sink counter. We see the contemplation and the consideration of the young man. Pain and agony are felt. The title of the piece referential to the story and the material that is used to make the sharp blade. After this encounter we are transported into the next bay, where the light from a wall of tvs is cast withing the space. We are again confonted with abstractions of red projected on blue. This is both familar and distant. A couple of the TVs are glitching and full of static. A nod to nam june paik- as well as the colour and the fire paintings of Yves klein. This continues both of these artists practices- pushing the notion of what is being projected on the viewer. The chemical make up of these early tvs projects phosophorus out with light onto the viewer. The fiery glow is both aggressive and illuminating.the 3rd bay includes an empty wine bottle and glass- we peer into the square tv that reveals the shadows of a man and woman in a heated arguement- that is both aggressive and physical. We are unsure of who the aggressor is, but the feelings are very visceral. This experience is both confronting and comforting. At the end of the sequence, we here the artist’s grandmother singing - a comfort from his childhood. As we leave, we notice a small bottle of prozac in the bathroom cabinet. The fourth bay includes a sink full of prozac pills scattered in disarray with a mirror above- takes us back to the first bay with young man at the sink. A true reflection of pills and blades. Opposite the sink is a wall of screens- large and small with disc players. A prozac commercial is moshed and glitched and videos of the archetypes are splayed around the displays. There a wires that are coming out at you like snakes and flowing rivers. This is both connecting and disconnecting. A symphony of different images and videos question ones reality and inner voice again like the first bay’s preview.Along the way we have been confronted with not only images and videos, but also sounds composed by Tjo. The audio is both soothing at times and discordant at others- however all finds its tune in a similar key. Finally we arrive in the last large room. A white shirt commonly known as a “wife beater” is pinned to the wall with a pair of slacks.Unsure of to whom they belong, they are soiled and used, worn. Also in this room, we find 3 tvs displaying the archetypes in action- their audio/ musical score is at a higher volume.They merge together in this finale- final movement of this symphony of Data Training.The last course of this journey. After a moment of white walls and breathe amongst some early collages created by Tjo we are granted access to the Diary Entry- Diaries of compulsive obsession. here now I write my experience forever presented on the blockchain. A free flow of thought and ideas, something very raw and real- without proper spelling, capitalization or grammar. Just me in this moment post-journey. We have entered Tjo’s world from the surface, from the image- but we leave with an experience that is transformative and potentially transcendent."
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Congratulations! You managed to overcome your fears. You broke the cycle and saw the light. Now, where do we go?