0x555198f9…7705sent to0x6fdbdb37…a95a·#22,627,123·0xa3b124ee…1a378e
0x555198f9D03CFE62f6520eC1eba90C20bd997705Ever since I was very little, due to intense and sustained trauma, I have bounced between a state of neurological paralysis and hyperarousal. 30+ years of this has left me in a very vulnerable state neurologically and psychologically.
I was unaware of all of this until recently in life. Little layers peeling back, revealing things my mind has hidden from me...protecting me from the intensity of all the things I have witnessed and experienced.
I regret taking the advice of others and trying to forgive those who maliciously took my innocence from me. Those who were supposed to protect me, to be my safety. They have ruined my life in so many ways, and I regret spending so many years in pain and trying to be a "good person", and forgive them when they have no remorse, and continue to do those things to others.
I regret not allowing myself to feel rage and anger for them. Those emotions have long been suppressed in me, and it hindered any attempt at healing or insight.