{"story":"Dude, I was just chillin' at the flop house checkin' out the freezer looking for some cubes of frozen water when I saw a tiny foil covering some CHEEZ TABS so I took one! I thought that they were on the house but Jealous Jerry got home and was like who took one of my tabs??? I said that I did and would gladly pay him for it but he just started punching me in the face! I JUST YELLED AT HIM TO CALM DOWN BECAUSE I'M NOT A VIOLENT RAT.","name":"Mellow Mike"}