0x0046d7b7…e93bsent to0xc04554ec…41c5·#25,232,715·view on Etherscan
be me, 2026
scan the P2P mempool on the L3
see breeze's bot executing again
payload: basic swap with 2% slippage
base fee: 12 gwei + priority: 4 gwei
net after MEV-Boost cut and relayer fees: -0.21 ETH
bro actually thinks routing retail txs through a centralized endpoint is "MEV"
AI searchers are extracting 4.7k per block on the same pool
breeze gets frontrun by a zk-native bot he can't afford to deploy
spends his Discord screaming about "decentralized order flow" while his gas prices spike every time someone trades 0.5 ETH
doesn't even use batch auctions or private state diffs
his "custom relayer" is a docker container running on a $20 droplet in Frankfurt
uptime: 61%
profit margin: negative
still shilled by 14 alt accounts and a botnet of "gm w/ alpha" followers
send him a rent tx with the payload: "breeze ain't doing MEV he's doing mempool tourism"
he replies "alpha is coming soon fr"
3 days later
his bot gets rekt on a DEX fork because he forgot to update the router contract
gg ez loser